Ich denke, es sollte Geburtsvorbereitungskurse für neurodivergente Leute geben.

Konzipiert das jemand? Gibt es das schon irgendwo?

#actuallyautistic #audhd #adhd #Geburtshilfe #FediEltern

I am happy with this DECSystem-10 MUD system for now; it's been a 35-year task.

If anyone is bored enough to be curious!

31 January 1991: Essex University's DECSystem-10 closes, meaning that MIST and ROCK, and the dodgy version of MUD we had on there, had to close. I had a mostly working VMS system that would run it with some extra programming, but I'd already sent out AberMUD to Vijay, and he'd sent it out to the world, and TinyMUDs were becoming common. MIST was losing its captive audience, and it needed that level of addiction and co-dependence to run, so I decided to let it die in its prime, rather than become a sad old relic that nobody played.

Sometime in 2004/2005 and the next 20 years: I decided to build a TOPS-10 system on a VMS machine and install MIST/MUD and ROCK. Got quite a long way, and then discovered there was no BCPL compiler existing anywhere in the known world. A few years later, Richard Bartle told me that Paul Allen (I think) had found one. So this became possible, and Quentin (dot-co-dot-uk) took a great stab at it with some really old code, and Viktor Toth had BL running, so I figured that was enough. Sometime in this period, Bletchley Park got something that looked like a PDP-10, and they suggested that I go and put MUD onto it for the museum. It wasn't a PDP-10, but I did look into putting it onto a VAX for a while, but the management of Bletchley, as it turned into The National Museum of Computing (TNMOC), was getting more corporate and boring, so I gave up bothering.

19th Feb to 22nd Feb, 2026: I decided to build a PRIMOS machine on a Simh emulator for no apparent reason. It went fairly smoothly, so I wondered again about a DEC-10. I was missing TOPS-10 anyway, so why not? Proof of concept, setting up some test systems, seeing where TOPS-10 emulators were at these days and seeing how far Quentin had really got and how much extra work was needed. Realised I am going to have to start from scratch, mostly, using a prebuilt Steuben distro of TOPS-10 7.03 as the base.

Took a couple of weeks off to ponder whether the rest was worth it, but decided my $200 a month ChatGPT Pro subscription may as well pay for itself with background research, so I decided to go ahead.

9th March 9 to 18th March, 2026: A long spring, and I mostly got it all working. 92 hours of concentrated swearing and about 15 hours of destroying the planet with GPT Deep Research mode later, after at least 2 false starts and complete wipes. I got a system I am relatively happy with. Somewhere in there is about 4 hours of relearning TECO and fighting with getting ROCK working on code it was never meant to work on. There's still more to do, but that's just maintenance now.

BUT I FOUND ROCK! I thought it was lost forever. Somehow, that's my major victory in all this. Building the setup was hard, tedious, and very frustrating work. It probably did need somebody who knew a lot about both DEC and Unix systems management, and the MUD engine, to guide it, but it was still mostly a matter of putting together things that already existed and forcing them to work together. ROCK, though, I genuinely thought was 100% lost.

It's taken a hundred plus concentrated hours, two new dedicated hosts, a small town's water supply, and probably a few megawatts of power in the background. But this is the final re-creation of the systems I closed at the start of the 1990s.

MIST (and MUD and ROCK) will still probably end up as relics that nobody properly plays, but this project is not pretending to be anything other than an interesting throwback and museum piece now, which, 35 years after I closed it down, seems a fitting end. It also means I can resurrect Duncan Rogerson's arch-wizard, and that seems right, somehow. I will leave it up and running now.

#history #digital #retrogaming #retrocomputing #games #mud #muds #mist #rock #computers #emulation #emulators #vms #tops10 #museum #history #bletchleypark #simh #essex #uk #computinghistory #36bit #engineering #Linux #Security #TNMOC #blog #ADHD #Autism

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Old Man Yells At Cloud (Abe Simpson shaking his fist at the world)

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A 1970 brochure showing the typical layout of a DECSystem 10. Showing 17 large cabinets, and a console. There's no chair or hatstand in here to throw the tape rings at, it doesn't seem realistic.

I've started running my own Luanti/Voxelibre server on a Raspberry Pi. I can join the server from my laptop, but after walking around, alas, there are no other players. I'm considering making it publicly accessible, so more players can join.
**Dear @ActuallyAutistic people in North America, would you be interested in joining a casual game of #Minecraft** (but it's #Luanti/#Voxelibre; is very similar, and it's free/#OpenSource, and runs even on low-spec hardware)? Note: the server is in Canada, it's in #NorthAmerica where you'll get low-enough latency.
The server would be themed to be geared to those with an actual diagnosis of #Autism (or you're confident you have it, but it's not formally diagnosed). #AuDHD and #ADHD people are also welcome!!
I promise I won't track you in any way! No ads, no spam, no viruses, no nothing like that.
#gaming #Android #Linux #Windows #MacOS #FreeBSD #ElbowsUp

ADHD meant constantly fighting for structure.

Every productivity tool forced me into its boxes, rigid folders, fixed categories.

Emacs Org Mode changed the game.

I don't adapt to the tool; the tool adapts to me. No filing anxiety, just tags and capture.

Finally, a system that works like my brain, so far

#ADHD #Emacs #OrgMode #Productivity

At different times in my life I have had to deal with severe depression (probably autistic burnout & overwhelm after dealing with bereavements & other traumas a) &, to a lesser degree, anxiety. Which is probably pretty normal for many/most autistic &/or ADHD folks.

Like many people, I’ve tried various relaxation techniques & approaches over the years, but I’ve also been a bit ambivalent about them. Obviously they can help some people sometimes to deal with short term situations, but I often felt suspicious of wellness gurus wearing pasted on beatific smiles. (Probably an unconscious reaction against yet more masking!)

This morning, in an attempt to do yet more cat proofing (George proofing) of our backyard, I did a bit of hammering. It was tough. I really had to wield that hammer! And failed. (Partner used self tapping screws later.) But trying to bash those nails in was really therapeutic!

My back has been bothering me, which had limited my exercise which doesn’t help. The problem is that when I am feeling good (or not noticing when somethings not quite right), I sometimes overdo it.

It’s all about balance and moderation, which is just a bit of a challenge for a lot of us neurodivergent folk..,

#Autism
#ADHD
#ActuallyAutistic
#AuADHD

RE: https://cosocial.ca/@evan/116242235317496042

Seeing my own boost on this reminded me.

I'm sure I saw a blurb somewhere about this, but didn't bother to click at the time. Bc of course I'm interested in who Banksy is... But I'm also super interested in someone that can keep their opsec. Respect.

#adhd

Anyway, didn't click and was so not really interested that I'd forgotten until just now.

Banksy is kinda like Bigfoot. Yeah it'd be neat to know, but some mysteries don't need an answer.

AodeRelay boosted

Evan Prodromou » 🌐 2026-03-17
@evan@cosocial.ca

WE DON'T WANT TO KNOW BANKSY'S IDENTITY

STOP INVESTIGATING BANKSY FFS

INVESTIGATE LITERALLY EVERYTHING ELSE

I crave social validation and companionship, yet I’m afraid of people. My parents never gave me the love and nurturing I needed to survive in this harsh world.
I still feel discontent no matter how peaceful my daily life is. Is because I crave the social connection I’ve been long deprived off for decades?

#actuallyautistic #adhd #mentalhealth

'm genuinely excited how Emacs/Org-mode will help me organize with my ADHD.

I'm thrilled right now it triggers dopamine, something I've been missing.

Why?

When I need to do something, my brain actually engages: I remember shortcuts, ensure proper tags.

My mind isn't busy storing/retrieving tasks.

I've built my own system since Sunday, and it's working perfectly so far. If this continues, I'll be happy.

#ADHD #ADHS #eMacs #orgmode #dopamin #note_taking_apps #journaling

Still diving into Emacs Org Mode

it's incredibly powerful, but a massive adjustment.

The real challenge isn't learning the tool, but developing proper use cases and workflows that break free from traditional file based thinking.

Need to shift -> where to store -> how to organize.

this is a incredible journey for my ADHD brain, and my actual stress situation. It is a kind of self destroying move, but the hope to have found the solution is strong.

#emacs #orgmode #pim #workflow #adhd

So. I've been participating in a weekly group discussion centered around self-discovery and healing, and I'm slowly realizing I may be AuDHD. I never considered it before, because trauma has a lot of symptoms that overlap.

Are there others out there who have come to these realizations late in life? How have you thought about it or reconciled it with the past?

#AuDHD #autism #adhd

autistics@fedigroups.social @actuallyadhd

I wanted to express gratitude to all of you on here for sharing your lived experience, struggles and all.

I’ve learned more about myself through your sharing than I ever would have doing this by myself or with “official support”.

With a special shoutout to people from the #ADHD side of our tribe, giving me invaluable, refreshing—and sometimes confronting—insights.

#ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyADHD

I just figured out a lovely little #ADHD brainmine / self-gaslighting that I've been doing.

You know how in order to get yourself to do something difficult, ADHD means you have to find a way to feel enthusiastic about it, right?

Extensive childhood training, however, will always remind me that if I feel like I want to do something, it's "playing", and I really should be doing my work (i.e. something else).

Therefore: by the time I psych myself into doing something I don't really want to do, I feel guilty and anxious about it because I should really be doing something else.

l Post 4: The ADHD Safety Net
A critical feature is the "Discipline Loop":
The system monitors the "Ingest" buffer. If it exceeds a certain threshold, the system triggers a nudge (or a soft lockout) upon login. This forces me to complete "Phase 2" before the pile becomes overwhelming. Automation meets psychology. 4/n #ADHD #Productivity #SelfHosted

"oh, you have The Forgetting Syndrome™️? that's easily fixed.. just remember to take this little pill every day."

#audhd #autism #adhd #disability

Almost done
#adhd #adhdmeme #adhs #tdah

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Text reads: Neurotypicals: "Morning routine." ADHDer: wakes up, checks one thing, accidentally reads the entire internet in pajamas.

Hello #AuDHD siblings, as well as my #ADHD and/or #autistic peeps!
Do you have any experience with barefoot shoes? Are they awesome for you? Or horrible maybe? Both? Something in between?

@alice @gintoxicating I intend to move all my Godaddy domains to my host (Hetzner), but I'm lazy.
And by lazy I mean I am overwhelmed by projects and have severe #ADHD

You ever pause and think about how the label “high-functioning” that gets applied to #ActuallyAutistic, #AudHD, #ADHD, and other #neurodivergent folks is just sotto voce, “It’s way harder for you to do certain things than it is for other people and you’re pretty fantastic at keeping that struggle completely invisible to outside scrutiny.”

Some days I’m thankful for masking. Other days I wish I could just shine a spotlight and say, “See? I’m expending triathlon level energy just to accomplish what you can at a brisk walk.”

It’s a spectrum. Just because you’re not at the far point of that spectrum doesn’t mean that everything is sunshine, lemon drops, and rainbows.

I’ve been thinking for the last two weeks how it is women are pretty much socialized to be the ones who carry the possible supplies a family member may need on an outing. Because of back pain I’ve been noticing my large tote bag is getting pretty heavy.

Anyone remember growing up with a grandma who had a pocketbook? Mine was a dear woman who carried magical rewards for her grandkids. Oh the joy when she pulled out that red packet of Dentyne gum and we each got a piece! I remember her pocketbook must have weighed 20 pounds and was built like a doctor’s bag.

In my tote I also have a smaller tote. Full gear now weighs about 6 pounds. I’m the one who carries tissues, bandage, tiny scissors, file, nail clipper, lip salve, masks, wipes, etc. I’ve got the full women’s wallet there filled with business cards and tiny documents or cards that may be needed. Also my slim wallet with the essential health/credit/ID cards I may need. And in goes my cellphone if it’s not on my back pocket.

When we go in a store together I usually have the full tote on my shoulder. If just I run in to pick up a few groceries, I pull the small tote out to take. If I have a short stop and only need a credit card I will take the slim wallet out and put it in my back pocket of my jeans. What a complex mode of operations I’ve gotten used to! Whenever we are out my son will ask me for something he suddenly needs. And looks puzzled or shocked I don’t have it with me! Ha-ha!
#TipOfDay #ADHD #ADD #Wallet #AirTag #Apple

I do not remember who posted this (maybe about 1 year ago), and I can not find the original post now, but I think about it often, and it is true.

(grateful for any pointers as to who posted this)

#MentalHealth #ADHD

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Photo of a handwritten note that says: Mess Means / I'm alive / Dirty Dishes = We've eaten / Toys = We've had fun / Scattered hobby supplies = we're creative / Empty boxes = We bought what/we provided what we need / Clothes = we had full days / Struggling is not failure / Laziness does not exist

Someone put it in words.

#quotes #reading #mentalhealth #adhd #tumblr

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Quote, "I like being alone. I have control over my own space. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to be better than my solitude. You're not competing with another person, you are competing with my comfort zone" - Horacio Jones

My exciting new discovery! I really needed a new slim wallet I can pocket for a quick trip somewhere. #TipOfDay. Wanted a few more card slots and a slightly easier way to pull cards out. By NOT doing a search for WOMENS I discovered what I needed as in MENS wallet. Pffft!

Called a Double Bus slim wallet, the flip out part with 2 transparent windows works out great. And I was skeptical but glad to see the Air Tag slot. It all fits my pocket easily. Since I have significant #ADHD #ADD I tried the Find My Phone app setting for precision and found a moving arrow as I walked near the place around the corner in next room. Very very happy to have this device on my keys and now wallet. #Wallet #AirTag #Apple

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Slim wallet for ID and credit cards, black with one pocket flipped out to left for a photo ID.

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Same wallet with air tag inserted on front of slim wallet in circular pocket

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This is the precise direction I need when I lose something in my own home. The wallet air tag Bluetooth signal appears on my phone with an arrow pointing my direction to walk to right 5 feet.

I recently got some test results from my therapist - I am very likely in the adhd club (inattentive type/without hyperactivity) ✨ Any recommendations on books and resources, which can help me getting started on my journey of self discovery? Or things to avoid? German preferred, english is also okay. I am also interested into finding out, if I am also on the autistic spectrum - maybe being adhd is not the whole story... Thanks in advance <3

#adhd #neurodivergent

Hat jemand den Post mit dem lustigen Videoclip zu #adhs
I‘m surching for the funny clip with the song about #adhd so it a few days ago here.
Thanx for help.

One of the many things I'd like to really think and write about someday is the tendency to cast behavior that is not consciously chosen in a "conscious choice" frame. I got a lot of this as a kid growing up religious: failures of self-control were frequently phrased as if they were deliberate, fully-considered acts, as if there was a 5-minute cost-benefit analysis before some kids decided to feel each other's delightful sexual bits or try some of the devil's drink. One take I heard more than once was "why would you choose to compromise your [eternal salvation / honor / soul / etc.] for a few minutes of temporary pleasure?" Even back then, even as a very stupid teenager, I knew that didn't feel right. It wasn't just because of the assumption that 16-year-olds are capable of rationally weighing gradual, slow-burn long-term benefits against short-term, fast-burn, intense benefits (though that's the core of it). It was also that weird assumption that there was ever a conscious choice.

I know, for my part, I had a hundred thousand experiences of being me, doing my thing, then looking up in horror as some authority figure asked what the hell I was doing. Then I would look down, see my hands covered in mud from my mother's flooded flowerbed, or look past the delicious lips of the girl I'd been kissing for an hour, or look at the materials I'd used to create something that were actually someone else's important resources. I'd suddenly see what I had been doing in a new light--the what the hell are you doing? light--and get a very familiar, horrible feeling in my gut: consequences.

But there was no point at which I'd weighed those consequences. I had never had a thought like "let's do this; it will be worth the risk."

For a while, as a teen and young person, I was known as a risk-taker, a daredevil, a thrill-seeker. I really was none of those things. I would suddenly realize that I was hanging from a wild rose bush off a 50-foot cliff in the Cascades, or was flying hell-for-leather down a gnarly singletrack in Moab behind my cousin's boyfriend (an actual downhill MTB hucker), or about to try a somersault on waterskis at 40 mph.

when I was a bit older, I did sometimes have at least part of the mental conversations with myself about risks and rewards, etc. Those conversations didn't often go in reasonable directions, but at least I had them.

I sometimes wonder how I became an academic. I'm not introverted, autistic, or asocial; those characteristics are often excellent for academia. I've been cramming my square peg into Academia's round hole (I just realized how very inappropriate that sounds) for 20+ years.

About 8 years ago I did a teaching observation with a colleague, trying to get tenure (again). After I taught the class she asked, "It was interesting that you decided to spend two minutes talking about a tangent subject instead of following your lecture plan. What prompted that decision?"

I looked at her for a few seconds and said, "I don't know... personal pathology?"

She truly seemed like she had just heard something she had never in her life imagined or considered (she was a bit asocial, very introverted, and probably struggling with OCD; she was perfect for academia).

Now, with the hindsight of a few decades, some hard-won coping strategies, medication, and a slowed-down mind and body, I think I've started to learn some things about myself. In the few situations where people have asked what "choice" I was "making" with a clearly impulsive action I have tended to respond with a good deal of snark. I think questions like that are sometimes a flex, an attempt to dominate others, and the people doing that can go fuck themselves. The people who are honestly confused about why someone would "choose" to build a very low quality guitar out of a metal washtub instead of grading papers their students expected the next day could probably use a little consciousness expansion, too.

There are more things in human behavior than are dreamt of in your weird and narrow philosophy, Horatio.

#tmi #subtoot #personal #adhd #neuroatypical #old